I just want to feel happy again.

On December 6th i went to the hospital due to vaginal bleeding and that is when they told me my baby’s heart had stopped beating. I was full of shock. I felt so numb. My boyfriend rushed home so that i could deliver her. On December 7th I delivered my beautiful Aasiya. I never loved something so much and losing her left me /so numb and I’ve been feeling like that since the day we lost her.

I have good days and bad days now but it’s still very hard. My family and friends want me to see a counselor but I don’t think they’ll be able to help me. The only thing I believe will make me feel better is if I have another baby. Im three days late and I’m never late. I’ve tested 3 times and they are all negative. The disappointment of not being pregnant just makes me feel worse about my baby girl not being here. She should be here and I shouldn’t have to go through this. We’re supposed to be happy but instead I’m never happy. I miss her so much and i wish i could have her a brother or sister for me to love just as much as i love her. 💔