Need to cry and sleep :(

I don't know what to do with myself.. since December I've been sick (throw up every mornings and sometimes after dinner). January 31 my fiancé left me, 3 days after I bought my wedding dress. I started to have panick attack, im not eating well and enough because I'm scared to be more sick. I lost 30 lbs since December.

My doctor test me for many thing but he doesn't know what I have... I'm in pain, my stomach, ovaries, never the same place but so much pain.

Its been more than 3 months and I don't know how to handle it, I just want to cry. I go to school every days and then I have to work every days until 11:30pm. I have to smile when I just want to disappear.

I'm exhausted, I have no one to talk to because my fiance was my everything, my best friend.

Life was beautiful and now its a mess. 😭

Why is it so hard and painful?