Let me start by giving a back story. I met this guy a couple of months when i was in my previous relationship. Fast forward to 6 months, i ended my extremely toxic relationship, it was bound to happen. I see this new guy more & we start a friendship & i was instantly head over heels. His attitude, his way of being, the way he talked, his looks, everything about him was perfect, to me. Id known about his marriage, as soon as i found out i ended what it was that we had. But i was weak, i couldn’t for the life of me let him go. He fed me lies & told me he’s separated from his wife, so i continued what we had. Everything was perfect, he gave me everything that i needed & wanted. Something i never had. 3 months later, i come to the realization that i am 10 days late on my period. He buys me pregnancy tests, instantly 2 lines pop up. He was excited & so was i. I thought to myself “Wow this is it. This is the dream. I’m finally settling down & starting my life”. Things were so good until February. I still remember the night it happened, His wife messaged me on social media asking if I can talk to her so I said yes. We talked, & what i heard was one of my biggest fears, everything was a lie. From what he said to me, to the relationship we carried. I stupidly believed him. Every single thing he said. He told me he was actually divorcing her, she left their house, he only saw his daughter once a week. A big part of me felt like I should’ve questioned him but I said to myself “he’d never do that to me”, boy was I wrong. She did leave, but she moved back in. Everything he was doing with me, he was doing with her. Kissing me, having sex with me, sleeping with me, running his fingers through my hair & cuddling in bed with me & telling me he loves me, When he was telling her the exact same thing. She found out I was pregnant, confronted him & he told her “it’s my life”. i had no idea until we talked. He never told his parents, or anyone. Just his friends. That should’ve been my red flag. I was trying to be understanding considering the fact that it might’ve been too soon for his daughter to accept or his family. Till now he’s kept my son a secret. I’m surprised she has too. I talk to him that same night & I lost it. He was acting so casual of course he had no idea we talked. It hurt how he can be so casual & loving with me & hide all that. I confront him & he says “If I told you she came back, things between us would’ve been ruined”, “I do care about you”, “I do love you”. ALL LIES. I do believe that he loves me, but you don’t do this to anyone you love. He says he loves us both & he doesn’t know who he wants to be with. He comes around, tells me he loves me. I’m very weak, i hate him because he hurt me, i also hate that i love him so much. She says she’s done yet they still live together but She’s still there for him & says she is willing to become a stepmom to my baby. Just hearing that makes me burn with rage. I don’t want her near MY baby. He’s the only happiness I have, my sons father has honestly ruined my pregnancy. I’m 23 weeks, since I was 17 weeks i’ve been miserable. I cry myself to sleep every night. I don’t know if it’s the hormones but I feel like I can’t live without him. I haven’t been able to focus on the joys of my pregnancy. I want my son to have a family. Instead, what I worry about is my son possibly having a stepmom who I know NOTHING about. I don’t know what to do. I told him to leave me alone, give me some time & ive blocked him off everything. I know I can’t cut him off. I just wish her leave me & my son alone. I know he doesn’t care, he says he dies, but I wish he genuinely wish he wouldn’t care so he can leave us alone. I’m so hurt & all i’ve done is cry. Im only 21, i have no experience. I’m a FTM, this is all way too much. I’m tired of feeling like this..