I seriously love gay men. They're usually the only men I'm attracted to. But at the same time a lot of famous gay men (Troye Sivan for example) I find a lot of joy in their style and just the way they are in general. I really want to cut all my hair off like his and bleach it like Troye Sivans because I love it so much. I'm almost not afraid of looking masculine anymore. I'm like that with a lot of things now. I really don't think I'm trans. I don't feel like a guy. I don't experience any body dysphoria. I'm pretty comfortable in my body. The subject of sex is a little weird for me though. I don't find straight sex sexy...or lesbian sex really either. I find sex between two men sexy, but that's about it. And I don't think I'd be comfortable having sex with anybody. I'm not a virgin. I'm 20 and I lost my virginity to a guy at 16. I feel so different now. It's just not that exciting of a thought. I'm still attracted to people though. I don't know. I'm so confused about what I'm feeling. I don't mean to sound like I'm reaching for a label or anything. I'm just trying to understand this. Has anyone ever felt this way?