I just had a cholecystectomy two days ago. I was let out of the hospital yesterday afternoon. Im not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds, and doing so really hurts me when I try (our son is 13-14 pounds) I’m supposed to be taking it easy and healing because my body didn’t handle it super well.

I go to my parents house during the day and my dad helps care for my son because my husband goes to work. My mom has a brain tumor and isn’t able to help him very much without wearing herself out, and my father needs knee surgery because he tore his acl completely. Despite this, they both do what they can to help with the baby. When my husband gets home from work, we go home. He usually works 4/5pm-12/1/2am. So he’s really only here for the nights because he catches the bus to work at 12pm and my son doesn’t wake up until 10am.

When he gets home he’s always complaining of aches and pains (“my feet/shins/hips/stomach/head hurts”) but won’t take anything for the pain (like ibuprofen). He climbs into bed and expects me to be on baby duty because he’s sore from work.

I literally can’t sit up on my own because of the incisions. I’m in constant pain because I can’t take my pain medication because it makes me sleep, and he sleeps straight through our son when he cries, so I have to be able to wake up when he does.

Tonight is our second night home.

I’ve asked him to do the following things: finish his work clothes for tomorrow that he started washing, put the baby to sleep, help me wash my hair (I get very dizzy upon standing), to take care of his dinner dishes, and to move his clothes off of a power strip before our house burns down and kills all of us.

I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Ive always done everything when I was healthy. Baby, dishes, laundry, work, cleaning- no complaints.

Out of that entire list, all he did was throw his clothes in the dryer for tomorrow and throw his dishes in the sink, where they’ll sit until I wash them. I had to do everything else, including carry the baby in to his crib to sleep, which was excruciating.

When we were in the hospital discussing surgery he was all “of course I’ll take care of you and the baby.” And now I can’t even take my medicine to heal.

He’s also mad that he has to wake up before noon tomorrow to go get groceries before work. In his opinion “he’s never allowed to sleep” even though he sleeps solidly from the time he lays down at night until noon, when he gets ready for work.

I’m just a little bit agitated. Some days, he’s great: some days, I have two babies to handle.

I’m done. Thanks for letting me rant. 😪