My boyfriend doesn’t have a sex drive anymore. “Being intimate with you turned into a chore.” WARNING: long post ahead

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. In the beginning, both of our sex drives were abnormally high (as they’ve always been) we felt lucky to have found each other. Around our 8 month mark we moved in together. I was so happy to have our own space to do it in, so naturally, I asked for sex/intimacy a lot (about twice a week or so). He quickly became uninterested. He mainly told me he wasn’t in the mood, that he was tired, or said “why? We live together now” as if that was some sort of punishment on our sex life.

However, after awhile I started to take the rejection personally. Not only was he denying me more often, but it was happening EVERY time I initiated anything. It quickly got to the point that unless I poked and prodded for intimacy, it didn’t happen at all. Whenever I tried discussing this with him, he’d cut off the conversation and put his wall up, saying “I don’t want to talk about this” “you’re over-thinking it”. I’m the kind of person that likes to talk and resolve any problems and he likes to pretend they’re not there until he forgets about them/they’re eventually not a problem anymore. It makes me feel like my feelings aren’t validated.

This has been an on going problem since we moved in together. He’s completely uninterested. Any sexual activity causes tension and arguments which isn’t fair to either of us. A month ago, he let it slip that “intimacy is just a chore” with me. That because I had asked for it so much when we first moved in, it made his sex drive disappear. Keep in mind that we’ve had sex multiple times between then and now, but it’s never been something he initiated with me. It’s because I asked or practically had to twist his arm for. I feel like a piece of shit.

I’m mature enough to understand that you can’t make someone want something or feel a certain way. I don’t want him to be sorry for how he feels, it is what it is. It’s just very hard not to take it personally. It feels like he doesn’t want me that way. I’ve done everything I know how to do. My last resort has been conditioning myself to feel guilty whenever I feel horny and to associate the feeling with something bad. I know I shouldn’t change myself for someone, but I truly don’t want to lose him. When I told him what I was doing, he said he thought it was a good idea. 😔

He tells me when we have sex, that he really enjoys it. He just doesn’t get the urge to do it anymore. I can’t help but feel heartbroken over this. This is the only problem we really have. We get along VERY well otherwise.

It honestly just feels like I’m the problem. I’m the only one with the issue. I’m the only one that brings this up. I’m the only one that wants to be intimate. Am I just a toxic person? Am I being crazy? I feel like I deserve to be alone...😔