I found out that I’m pregnant yesterday and my fiancé and I have been stressing out over it ever since. He’s not ready to be a dad and this surprise came at the worst possible time. We both want kids in the future but our lives are a mess right now.

I just moved to Finland to be with him yesterday (I literally took a test at the airport) and we’re both at a loss. Having an abortion feels wrong but so does having a baby.

I really don’t want to have one and I told him I’m scared that if I do, I’ll resent him for it and our relationship will just crumble because of it.

He’s finishing his masters degree and doesn’t have a “real” career type job, he works as a software engineering intern currently and as I just moved to Finland (we will be married next month) I don’t have any heath benefits or insurance being here... plus I work for a start up company and make next to no money. We’re both just lost and confused and I know we shouldn’t be making this decision after having flown for 24 hours and being incredibly jet lagged, but I cannot wait to decide.

Once the baby stars growing its heart I don’t think I’d be able to go through with it. I’m only 4 weeks right now.

We’re planning on talking to his mom and seeing what advice she has and if she knows how I could get treatment whether for the pregnancy or the abortion while in Finland because I’m not yet a permanent resident or citizen. Basically I just need someone from the outside to give their opinion.

I’m freaked out and I’m not ready to be a mom but it breaks my heart to think about aborting this child. Ugh.