I always considered myself depressed after my constant self-hat began it's way in my mind. Whenever I'm alone or thinking, my mind goes to how "I'll never be as good as them" or "I don't deserve to breathe the same air as some of these people." One time it got to a point where, if someone asked me to pass them something like the salad bowl at dinner, I'd lash out and scream "Why don't you get it yourself?! Are you too good to grab it!"

However, I do have times at school with my friends where I truly laugh and smile. I forget about my eating disorder, insomnia, and self hate and I'd just laugh with them. But one time a person saw me laughing with my friends, and when I started talking about my "depression", they said "stop lying to get attention. You're not depressed"

Excuse me, you don't know what goes on in my mind. You don't know how, even though I'm only 115 lbs, I view myself as morbidly obese. You don't know that everyday, I struggle to not slice my thighs. You don't know any of that. And I don't know if they got offended because they had depression and they thought that I just wanted attention, or if they just didn't like me. Whatever it was, it made me think, "wow, you're so dumb you think you're depressed just because you get sad."

It made me think, am I depressed. I'm not diagnosed, I've never told anyone about my "depression" but am I depressed. Am I bipolar or just melodramatic?

In case you were wondering more about me to help me, I have bulimia, anxiety, insomnia, and some anger issues from time to time.