Well i don't even know how to start & ill try ...

Well let's just say i was a young mama i had 17 when i gave birth to my beautiful son & his biological father had 18. At first he was very happy he was going to be a dad & wanted to be part of everything. Sadly my son was premature that's when everything changed.

Ds was in nicu for 4 months biological father only visited him 2 times. When ds got out of nicu his maternal grandma came & gave him lots of presents. I didn't heard of them till 2 months later asking for ds wanted to see him that they missed him so much so i arranged a meting (it was really hard i was studying & they only wanted to see him in very specific dates) it was really weird dynamic but i kept holding on for the good of my son. Since that meeting they went for months again without asking or seeing him till Christmas they planned a party & wanted that ds went to get his presents & meet his other half of the family. To be truthful i didn't wanted to go but i thought that it'll be all for the good of ds so i went on.

Spent months without hearing from them. Near the date of ds birthday the grandma called again saying that she wanted to do a party for his birthday & kept insisting. So i let her trow the party (she paid for everything)

So again they disappeared only on Christmas or his birthday they texted. It went like that for 2 years.

At the 3rd year i decided that it wasn't a good idea to keep that little game. They didn't care for the child only on those dates. They didn't pay for child support. Not even a call. Worst of all they didn't even learned to spell his name. So when they invited again i ignored the text. I thought they would insist if they really wanted to see him but was i wrong never heard of them again.

So i went on with my life married my best friend my ds calls him dad. He's been there for us since day 1 first as a friend & then as a husband and father. I was really happy everything has going great (but this a different story for another time 😂). We talked with ds he knows my hubby is his stepfather & its ok with that he has never asked of his bio father.

Everything was good Till ds got sick & had to undergo surgery at that time i didn't had full custody it was a mess had to get permission from court. They couldn't find bio father it was just a plain mess. Gladly everything worked out but then i realized this can't happen again i don't even know the biological father no more i don't know were he is i need full rights of ds. Didn't had the money at that time so couldn't do anything.

Fast forward to 5 years i get a message that his biological father wants to meet him that he regrets everything he did that he wants to do the right thing i didn't answer didn't know what to write but still investigated & the message was because he was going to jail ( don't know why) & i think he wanted closure. Decided it wasn't a good idea to involve ds in that kind of mess so i ignored the message.

A year later went to court to get full rights of ds (he was still in jail so they found him fairly easy i think) his mother got involved & told him not to give the rights because she wanted to be part of ds life. So we did an agreement he gave me the rights & she could have supervised visits.

At the time seemed like a good idea.

She saw him a couple of times at first every weekend but then the time between visits grew. Its been almost 3 years that this been going on. Last time passed 7 months in between.

She saw him again last month & gave him lots of presents ( his Christmas presents in march) she went on and on saying that her family is good that she wants to take him to her house on weekends & spend the day there even the nights. I just listened to her & to not make her feel bad i said ill think about it but I'm not sure. I have to talk with ds first & see how he feels.

I was skeptical i like i never leave my child with nobody unless is my family (my mom, dad, brother & my dear cousin she's like my sis) & still i call or text them to be sure everything is fine. Im very protective in that part. I feel like i don't know them enough to do that kind of thing. If something goes wrong ill never forgive myself.

Soooooo know to the real problem sorry for the long story had to fill you in.

She's texted me once saying and i quote

Her-"can we see on Saturday so i can pickup _name of ds_ and spend the day with him?"

Me-" im really sorry we can meet but it won't be a long time i work this weekend but we can still meet."

She didn't answer the next Weekend she wrote again

Her-"can we see _ds_? _bio father_ wants to meet him! Hope we can pickup so we can spend the day together"

Me-" we can meet if you want i don't think is such a good idea for bio father to be there, but still we can meet"

At that moment im like what just what you can't arrange something like that without asking me first you cant do that i have to talk to ds first & see if he wants or not its been almost 8 years since ds saw him i don't think he even knows who he is.

This week she writes

Her-" hope we can pickup _ds_ "

Me-"we can meet at any time if you want it can be near to your house so you can spend more time"

Her-" i wanted to pick him up and be with him spend the day & at night or when you tell me give him back"

Me-" im sorry i don't think that's a good idea. I've been thinking & i don't like leaving ds without my supervision. We can meet up early if you want so you can spend more time with him till night that i have to work it can be near your house if you want. Please don't take it in a bad way its just i don't want to things like that."

No answer no nothing.

Talked to my son & he just said no mom if you guys aren't there i don't want to go please i feel better when you are with me. Of course i prefer that she thinks that i don't want to so i don't hurt her feelings.

But my son comes first and he doesn't want to i won't pressure him to do it. When & if he feels ready everything will flow.

Advice please am i doing the right thing?