Basically I just need to vent. So if you get through this whole post, thank you!

First off, this pregnancy was completely unplanned. We were <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">tracking ovulation</a>, abstaining and pulling out to avoid getting pregnant. I know it’s not the most effective way of preventing, but I thought I had a good knowing of my body to do it for a few months until we could get hubby in for a vasectomy. After all, we got pregnant using this method twice before. Anyway, here I am, 22 weeks pregnant with our seventh baby, our biggest surprise yet.

This pregnancy has been stressful from the beginning. Not being planned, it took me weeks to come to terms with the fact that I’m going to have another baby. Early in my pregnancy, we had major water damage in the house we just bought. We found out the ‘flipper’ who purchased and renovated the house most likely knew about the damage but just spot fixed it to make it look good enough to resell. Of course we can’t prove this so our insurance and our own money has paid for everything. We were forced to leave home for over a month and live in a TWO BEDROOM apartment. That was a nightmare! When we finally came home, the bathroom was still under Construction for another SIX WEEKS and not fully usable. Well finally about two weeks ago, it’s fully functional and that disaster is over. But tens of thousands of dollars in out of pocket expenses have occurred in this time frame and we have been stretched to the absolute limit.

Having this huge upset in our home life caused some minor behavioral issues with the kids. Well, 6 kids all taking the changes in their own way has caused me major stress and anxiety. The little ones are whiny and clingy. The older ones just ignore me, they talk back and are disrespectful. Oh, did I forget to mention that when my 15 month old was just barely 12 months, I ended up in the hospital with her because she needed a surgery?

Then there’s my husband. He tries to help but we both have minor ocd and our ‘preferences’ are different, so it’s difficult. Plus he works long hours. I feel like I’m expected to do EVERYTHING with the kids and house and I’m just so overwhelmed.

I’m constantly tired to the point of exhaustion, no matter how much sleep I get. I’m bigger than I have been at this stage during any pregnancy. Our house has stairs and we’ve never lived in a multi level home when I was pregnant before. I’m uncomfortable and in pain daily. He says he gets it but I don’t feel like he does. And we live overseas, away from all my friends and family. I don’t have anyone to even ask for help from. I just feel like I’m at my wits end. I feel defeated. I love my baby and want him out, but I dread having to add a newborn to this mess right now. Somethings gotta give! Where’s my rainbow after the storm?