gender restrictions?

Question

I was recently on facebook and notice a blog of a toddler named zoomer, i was curious about the name so I looked into the profile. Zoomer parents are raising "it"?🤷‍♀️? without a gender title, what i mean is.  zoomers parents don't tell anyone "its" real gender and dresses "it" as a girl or a boy (gender neutral). now I'm just curious what you other moms think? I have 2 kids my oldest is a girl then my son, me and dad tend to have alot of disagreements because he's Hispanic and in his country boys aren't allowed to play with girl toys or play dress up with girl clothes, which I think is ridiculous. I don't encourage my son to pay with girl toys or make up or dress up but I won't get him in trouble for doing it because he's to young to understand he isn't a girl, he doesn't even understand he's a boy 😲. my point I feel like if we all thought just a little like zoomer parents until the child understood gender they're wouldn't be should a division between "boy toy, boy clothes, boy activities and girl toy, and girl clothes and girl activities  my husband thinks I sound crazy but there's gonna be parents that think like me!!! RIGHT?

Accepted Answer

I respect a difference of opinion but I completely disagree. It’s not wrong to distinguish boy/girl...it’s not like it’s race or something. It’s your God/nature given anatomy. It’s who we are. WE ARE NOT “ITS” and just bc this generation wants to make this whole concept of no gender, doesn’t make it any more sensible than it would have been last century. To me it’s weird, extra and simply stupid. Of course if a little boy wanted to play with a doll you don’t condemn him but you also don’t confuse the shit out of a kid by acting like they don’t have a gender-THEY DO!! Plain and simple. If we weren’t meant to have genders we would be born with a vagina or penis. I swear people do TOOOOOOO much these days and then wanna cry “equality” as if it has anything to even do with that at all.

Answer

I disagree with this. If a Child grows up and decides they feel like they are the wrong gender or feels attracted to the same gender, support them and help them, yes. However, making them grow up without a gender when they clearly have one is weird. The only way I can see that being okay is if the child is born with both in which case they would have to choose at some point and it would be their own decision. As far as toys go, let the child play with the toys they choose. That decision will never determine which gender they want to be. There are sensitive males and there are female tomboys. You don't have to be strictly into the things made for your own gender to be that. But let's say this child is a girl and only ever feels like a girl growing up... I personally loved being a girl and if I were raised that way I would have felt cheated out of growing up as a girl. It could be the same for a boy as well. I think there's enough confusion growing up as it is. I think it's a sad  and lonely thing to have to grow up with more possibly unnecessary confusion. To each their own, I guess. Only time will tell if that decision was a bad one or not.

Answer

It’s deeply silly.  The child is part of a gendered species.
Mom and Dads feelings on the issue do not matter.
In fifty years time, this is the kind of historical oddity that will get a good laugh.

Answer

I agree with gender neutral parenting. Where you treat boys and girls exactly the same and let them play with whatever toys they want. However, the zoomer thing to me is taking it too far, to each their own though it doesn’t affect me in the slightest and I doubt they’re harming their child

Answer

You can raise a child to know their gender and still not have them surround with stereotypes of that gender. I'm not sure I like the idea of removing gender completely from a child's life, a child should had a sound sense of security in who they are and what their body is. But I also choose not to dress my daughter is essentially 'girly' attire.

Answer

So.. I am bilingual in Mandarin, and we actually don’t have gender specific pronouns.  (Not in the spoken form, but in formal writing you can write it as being gender specific if you wish). We use a word “ta” that works as both “he” or “she”. “Ta” is only used to describe people or anything you personify like an animal or character (same way as “he” or “she”). The problem with the word “It” is that it is also used to describe inanimate objects like a table or something. Using the word “it” to describe a person will always be controversial in English language because it implies you think of the person as an object. There’s no truly gender neutral pronoun option to refer to people in this language. The gender neutral pronoun is such a better system because it prevents all this weirdness and controversy 🙄.

Answer

I totally understand where Zoomer's parents are coming from by choosing not to use he/she terms. It's not something we practice in our family but we do try to do things a little differently.
Things like asking and buying clothes for our son that are more gender neutral until he's at an age to ask for certain things he wants to wear, having a variety of toys to play with and understanding that he doesn't need to use his penis to operate them, referring to other children we meet as they or friend instead of assuming they are male or female, etc. The last one has actually been super helpful for both my husband and I as our son gets called she/girl very often because his hair is longer. It doesn't bother us when this happens but we see how others react when they find out or when people call their own child the incorrect term. 
I feel this topic is similar in a sense to the breastfeeding topic or circumcision. Everyone is going to have an opinion and will be for it, against it, or understanding of it. Unfortunately it's still too new in a sense that people are becoming more aware of it and because of that it still has that foreign feel.

Answer

I think it's wrong and will likely confuse the child.
If a child grows up and decides they want to identity differently than how they are raised- fine.
Until then, my little girl will wear pink and dresses and have pretty much everything pink honestly...
Until one day she says she hates pink and wants blue or if she hates barbies and wants trucks. that's fine.

Answer

"They" is one term you could use instead of it. I'm just saying because "it" sounds like an object. I think what the parents are doing is fine. Gender distinction isn't necessary.

Answer

The thing that annoys me the most is calling a child “it” instead of “they” or “them” which is the the proper gender neutral term. “It” is for objects. I personally don’t raise my children gender neutral, but I don’t impose gender on them either. My son loves purple and pink and always picks out purple and pink toys and I don’t make a big deal out of it, but I don’t use gender neutral terms with him.

gender restrictions?

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