Personal Preggo Struggle

So I’m really struggling. I found out 2 weeks ago that I’m having a boy and I’m currently 23 weeks 4 days. This is my first pregnancy. I have an anterior placenta and have yet to feel him moving around in there. Sometimes I feel like I might possibly be feeling a slight little kick, but I’m not sure because it’s not consistent. That, mixed with not being able to figure out a name (suggestions always welcomed!) I am having a really hard time “connecting” and even just coming to terms with this is real. I mean I’m excited and I know I’ll love him when he gets here, but I just feel like I should feel that now.

I’m just having a rough time. I’ve been getting sick off and on for a few months, realizing all the things I can’t do or enjoy, the reality of being over weight before I got pregnant and getting even fatter now; which will make it harder to get rid of it after....I’m just not feeling in a good place.

I feel fat, not pregnant. I just want to have a name, so I know why to call him. And I want to have the reassuring feeling of him in there....

Sorry! End rant