Reading a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy app</a>, and there was a section on “gifts for expectant dads”. Really...I’m sorry, are they growing eyeballs and legs and a heart??? If anyone is needing a gift in this situation it’s us mommies who are still working, caring for our toddlers, and growing tiny people inside our stretch mark ridden bodies all at the same time. What in the world gift could they need besides the gift of the 8lb baby we’re about unload out of our vagina?! Never mind all the after birth, epidurals, hours of pain, and postpartum recovery that involves lots of stitches, numbing spray, and a silent prayer to the universe during our first postpartum poop.

In all seriousness I’m joking, daddies do a lot too, and I’m most cases are wonderful. But let’s be honest- we are the best gift they ever got, and without us they’d just be wandering around in dirty clothes, hungry, and wondering where the hell the dish fairy was to clean up the bowl of cereal and 10,000 dirty cups they’ve used this week.