What do I do?

I honestly just feel down and upset and even my friends are annoying me. Whenever I call my boyfriend I just feel like being alone because everything winds me up. I have a “happy place” which is meant to calm me and it normally works but for whatever reason, for the past week it’s not been working. I plan to go and talk to a doctor in the summer about it. I’ve had this before but it’s worse this time as I can’t break it. When I’ve had it before I’ve managed to get over it but I had help. I feel that my friends aren’t seeing it and that my boyfriend is ignoring it (he’s stressed as well and coping with his own mental illness so I can understand that). I’m just constantly getting feelings of sadness, having suicidal/self harm related thoughts (eg: whenever I’m just sitting around I think about how I could so easily kill myself and I wouldn’t have to cope with this anymore) and not having any drive to be productive.

For example, I normally get up at 5:30 and it’s not 6:23 and I don’t want to get up because whenever I go to school, somebody says something goes that upsets me and makes me question why I’m here.