emotions

so I was just recently released from a residential facility for depression, my mom has zero trust in me and I'm not even suppressed to be on this app or the phone. I have feelings for two males, one I met at the residential facility and the other I've known for a long time and I went to school with, the one that I met at the residential I ran with and we ended up having sex (my first time ever).... I really love both of them and want both to be my boyfriend but neither of them would be okay with another male in the relationship. both boys are very caring and understanding.