been trying to not break down, but today i just coulndt anymore

Im sitting here at home with major stomache cramps and bloating after being diognosed with a stomache virus I was in the hospital for 3 days my intestines are still swollen and I look like im about 3 months prego, last year I had appendicitis and got an infection from the antibiotics a couple of weeks later, wich required several weeks out of work, I've neen trying to eat well since we started ttc so I don't inderstand why i have so many stomache issues. this month I was excited about trying for another cycle because i started taking maca root and felt really good about it, and bam I land in the hospital. i just feel i cant catch a break, been ttc for over 2 years now and nothing. today i seen my friend post that shes prego with her second, whos btw younger than me, she had her first during the same time i started ttc, ofcourse im happy for her but it just reminds me that it hasnt happened for me, and I'm not sure if it ever will with so many health issues so im here breaking down as I write this, both with pain in my abdomen and in my heart, I feel so defeated, worthless and pethetic, I wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy...