Husband wants more kids....I don't....kinda

I married my husband when I was 30, he was 35. We both are one of 3 kids. When we dated he told me he wanted a big family, at least 4 or 5 kids. I told him then he should probably marry someone younger than me lol, I agreed to 3 kids. We got married and had 3 kids, my 3rd I had severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome and I ended up with an emergency c section. But part of me felt very strongly that someone was still missing from our family, so I got pregnant with our 4th. He was absolutely thrilled when I told him I'd have a 4th. She was born a week ago and let's just say the birth was extremely traumatic, even more than the 3rd preeclampsia baby. I don't want to go into too many details but I honestly thought I was dying and not going to survive the birth (didn't experience this with my other 3 so I'm not trying to sound dramatic). My husband knew I was considering getting my tubes done this whole pregnancy, and once things went badly during childbirth I confirmed with my dr to go ahead and do my tubes during my emergency c section before I blacked out, so my tubes are done (reversible but I'm not intending to reverse it)

My husband acknowledges my childbirth trauma and is compassionate and acknowledges it's ultimately my decision, but he's mentioned to me a few times how he'd just love to have one or 2 more babies. I told him then we can adopt because I just don't see myself going through childbirth again after what I've been through, he said adoption is just not the same. But I'll be 100% honest, part of me also grieves the thought that we will never have another. I love being pregnant and I love my babies, I love having a big family, but I also feel like I'm 38, have 4 healthy kids, 2 of which were very risky births with c sections, let's quit while we're ahead. But I feel awful seeing the sadness in my husband's eyes when he mentions it (his brother told me awhile ago that yes my husband has always wanted at least 5 kids, since he was a kid). It's only been a week since our 4th was born and he's already brought it up 2 or 3 times. I don't know what to say to him at this point. I don't know if he just needs to grieve the children he will never have or what. Any thoughts?

Please don't bash my husband either, he's a very kind and loving man, not a machismo jerk just wanting me to make him more babies or anything like that. He's been running the household, has changed almost every diaper, doing dishes and laundry etc through my recovery, he's seriously awesome and contributes to childcare and works hard, not a "keep your wife barefoot and pregnant" type.