Faint bfp from 9-12dpo not getting any stronger. Feeling fed up 😞

I don’t understand what’s going on 🤷‍♀️ I shouldn’t of tested so early I know 😢 I thought I was getting a super faint bfp at 9dpo and I feel like I still am but they are so faint now I’m wondering if I’m just crazy 😜 I can’t seem to get anything on a frer but all cheapy test are showing like the start of something, anyway whatever it is it’s not getting any more visible or darker and now I’m feeling really down and fed up! I’ve wasted money on so many tests this week 🙄😳 I feel really silly. I’m 12dpo today and just want af now so I can move on 😩 has anyone else been through the same? Thanks x