My ex girlfriend...

I’m 18 years old, preparing for a wedding this winter. I have a story I haven’t told much and I want to let it out somehow. My future husband has known but I want to get some points across.

Today, I’m a straight happy woman but back then, I was an experimental bisexual. I was trying to “find myself” but at the same time, I dug a grave. I, so far was the only bisexual who came out in 8th grade. There was one girl who finally came out as lesbian and had an interest in me, we will call her Abby. She asked me out and I being curious, said yeah.

The start of the relationship was the casual shy and awkward relationship. She was a sweetheart brunette at the beginning, kinda a little out of my reach. Time went one with a month into our relationship and that was the time I feared the most.

The sweet brunette turned into a bastard woman. She grew possessive and violent towards me. I often was ordered to sleepover her house on Saturdays and constantly call to text where I was and what I was doing. If I didn’t answer within the time she asked, she’d hit me or try to get me in trouble with my parents.

I was already being beaten a lot by my father back in intermediate school, even to the point of him almost choking me to death due to him popping pills back then. (He’s sober now..or at least I think?) but I digress.

Abby was growing to violent, even demanding sex at some points. Thinking I loved her, I obeyed. She’d often made my vaginal area bleed badly a few times. I was 14...I didn’t know any better and wanted so much love...but I guess no one told me that you had to earn it somehow.

After three months passed, I managed to move schools and break up with her finally. It took me months of the last semester in 8th grade to regain my composure and months of self therapy and harm to myself. I gained a fear of women. At the end of my intermediate year in my new school, I met my future husband...he made me feel better but couldn’t get rid of the fear I felt in my gut...though I didn’t ask of it, he willingly cut off all girls he knew so that anxiety didn’t stress me so much...

Years passed till around April 13-15 and I received a message...From Abby.

I remembered what she did and immediately blocked her number...well...not before I got a few words in..

It went like this :

Abby:

Hey! Long time no see It’s Abby! Remember me? From

Me:

Where did you get my number?

Abby:

sister! I heard u are getting married! Congrats! I hope u will invite me.

Me:

Well thank you but no. I will not invite you.

Abby:

Ig that makes sense, I did stupid things when we were younger. I hope u can forgive me .

Me:

...forgive you..? FORGIVE YOU? Forgive you for what? Making my life more worse that what it already was? Forgive you for the fear you put into me? Or forgive you for the amount of times you hit me? Well, bitch no. I will never forgive you.

Abby:

Please let me explain

Me:

I’m not going to let you into my life again, so lose my number or better yet, I block you. Goodbye Abby.

So now the points I wanted to get across..?

People cannot just step into your life, ruin it and beg for a second chance. From the beginning you make that mistake, you won’t be considered trustworthy. Anymore mistakes, people can just see you as a untamable beast.

Some people just don’t have the common sense to figure out what they got going for their life with relationships or commitments. If someone is willing to give you their attention, don’t waste it one bit.

And if you are in a abusive or troublesome relationship, regardless of sex (female or male), get out immediately. Don’t wait for it to get better because if it happened too much, the expectations that you have will surely shatter once more and you’ll be in a deeper hole. If you can’t get out, get help.

The faster you get out, the faster you can find someone who is more suitable.