Why is it so hard to just enjoy and be happy


So ladies I’m 5 weeks today and I just cannot settle at all due to orevious miscarriages how ever I have never gotten passed 1-2 weeks on a digital with previous pregnancy’s. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy and I have super super strong symptoms ! Everyone’s telling me to relax but I just can’t I’m terrified all the time I made hubby go buy me these tonight and it’s progressed from 2-3 at the begging of the week to 3+ tonight anyone else feel like this any tips on how to settle would be appreciated I also hav a 9 and 7 year old and had no issues getting pregnant or with my pregnancies and only ever tested once and accepted it but I re married and my hubby and I have had so much trouble trying for this rainbow baby all I want is this baby to stick