So tired but not ready to give up

So it's been a couple weeks since I posted last I did thing were rough with me and my boyfriend I took everyone's advise and told him how I felt and things have been amazing since. we have suffered a loss in November due to stress losing what would of been our first child and his first baby. I have off levels and a hostile uterus so me getting pregnant is hard and I have a son but he has no children. So we waited and then about 2 months ago started actively trying.. now have tried vitamins and conceive plus which worked I was pregnant and ready to surprise my boyfriend over the weekend but sadly I didn't make it I miscarried again and had to tell him I was pregnant.. it has broken my heart.. I'm not looking for sympathy just to vent and maybe have a couple good stories lift my spirits.. I'm watching all my friends announce they are pregnant and getting abortions and having children in situations where they didn't want or still dont know if they want them and here I am so heart broken over the loss of 2 children and worst part I haven't told anyone other then him .. I just want to feel ok.. Like it isn't my fault that he may never be a father to his own child