I’m out of my depth

*UPDATE*

So I got home from work to find that my boyfriend was already home (rare for us and our schedules) apparently he had talked to his mom and sister while he was at work. I knew the moment he said that I knew there was going to be an argument. Turns out his sister was really offended cause she felt that I was just talking about her and her kids. (Which I wasn’t to be clear) He also talked to his mom which said that I came off as a brat or spoiled just cause me and my boyfriend were making money. (Mind you I work as a daycare teacher I don’t make crazy money). And my boyfriend wanted me to apologize to his sister for making her feel bad and invite her for dinner next week. 😒😒😒. So obviously I got pissed cause I thought he was on my side. We went off on each other and yelled and what not. It just came down to him wanting to fix things with his family and the easiest way was for ME to admit that I was wrong! I got pissed and told him that he was asking me to say sorry and let me values go out the window. All of this is infuriating from the fact that no one thought of talking to me personally. And my boyfriend being on their side and not defending what I thought was something we both wanted. I shouldn’t have to give up my ways for his sister i was raised differently I was taught to take care of my things. I feel bad that his sister took it wrong but I feel like there’s no talking to her now and I’ll just wait a little for everything to defuse. What should I do? Am I wrong for caring about the things we work hard for???

So my boyfriend and I are having problems all do to his older siblings. I’m out of ideas cause personally I don’t have any idea what it’s like to have older siblings. I have an older half sister on my dads side but she was raised by her mom, when she came into my life she was a grown up with a family so we don’t really dip into each other’s life. All of our problems started when my boyfriends sister would come over with her kids and our things would get mistreated or broken. This set off a storm cause I was raised to take care of my things and other people’s homes. We were constantly fighting about this cause he thought she got a free pass for being family. And to add more fuel to the fire his brother and sister got together and planned a whole Mother’s Day meal yesterday and we were the last to know. This really set him off cause we already had something special for her planned since we are going out of town. And when I say nice I mean dinner and wine at our home on our new table that we haven’t even used. They never thought to consult us about it they just assumed that we would be there. This really fucked up our weekend since we were going to leave today in the morning well my boyfriend never got sleep cause they weren’t ready we ended up eating dinner at 9. When we were having dinner I told them that we enjoyed having them over but to respect our home and our stuff. His sister immediately got pissed and stopped talking to us. Then my boyfriend got upset that she was mad and took it out on me after we had agreed to tell them something. I know she’s mad but will get over it it’s family after all right? I mean if I never say anything he won’t cause he’s to afraid to stand up for himself? No one takes him seriously cause he’s the middle child! I wanted to at least stand up for my home a home that we both worked hard to get, and are working hard to have at least something nice! Am I wrong? Any suggestions?