I don’t know how I feel about my relationship anymore

I am currently 37 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Me and my boyfriend are currently living together. I am 22 and he is 26. Let just say I love this guy so much but he is to blind to see it. I always go out my way for him making sure we are okay by doing the things I need to do as a women pleasing him, cooking, and etc.. Everyday I work my ass off when I could just be lazy and put everything on him. With bills and everything else we always somehow make it through.

Since the beginning of my pregnancy I been through so much. Like I always tell myself I am the strongest person that I know because I know I could of just give up and had a miscarriage but I push myself because everything I do is for my son. Family and friends doubted me and threatened me I wouldn’t make it but I pray God everyday and here I am almost about to give birth. Just praying for a easy delivery that I make it through.

Going back to my relationship my boyfriend can be the sweetest person but at the same time he could be a jerk. It feels like we can’t even communicate sometimes since every time I say something it’s always wrong to him or I’m trying to argue when I’m just explaining how I feel when he do something to make me feel some type of it. I swear he knows how to push my button. He hold a convo with his friends more than he can even talk to me since it always end up in argument. I am at my last stage about 2-3 weeks to go I wish he could be there for me more often. He always go out come home late at night and sometimes he just go out without even telling me where which I don’t expect him too cause I trust him but how am I suppose to trust someone when it is constantly 3-4 times a week and gone for 3-5 hours with no communication and not to even check on me how Me and baby doing it being at home all the time with nothing to do. And he had the nerve to come home and act like everything is okay.

I don’t want to think that he is cheating but isn’t that the red flag cause even when he is out when I call him he don’t even pick up his phone. Am I just asking for to much. For wanting him to be more like a man to be there for me especially being pregnant and get involve more. I feel like I am about to loose the person that I love to someone else. I know I can be difficult Nd a handful and trust me he is not easy to live with each other. When he is something else especially in the beginning of the relationship people just talk shit how I am with a player or didn’t expect we would be having a baby together.

When I told him from the beginning I don’t have time for bullshit we could just be there for the baby and not playing house wife’s. When we got together you see how hard I work and not depending on no matter with working a full time job and going to school. And I’m surely not going to depend on you if you don’t want to be there for your son cause I will work twice harder to make sure me and lil Boy is straight but I can’t never stop you from seeing your son. I have dreams for myself I want to be happy and lately instead of being happy I have been worried about how my relationship is about to sink when I’m doing everything I can to hold it together for my son not to grow up in a breaking home.

I don’t even know what to do I don’t have friends to talk or family that I can go to. I feel like I am alone in this whole process when it’s suppose to be a beautiful moment when being pregnant and having a support team by your side the long way.