any advice?

Question

i was raped 3 months ago and I haven’t had sex since. I really want to with this guy that I really like but I’m afraid I’m gonna have a panic attack in the middle and ruin the whole ordeal. Anyone have any stories on their first time after that and what they did to help calm them down?

Answer

After i was raped, i was terrified to have sex with my boyfriend, terrified that all i’d be able to think about was the rape and that it would trigger all the thoughts and feelings that accompanied it. The first time that I tried to have sex with my boyfriend i broke down in tears, because i was afraid and when I explained this to him he comforted me and we just cuddled all night and simce then i’ve been able to have, and enjoy, sex with him. I guess if you love the person, and you’re comfortable and able to communicate with them, there is no need to be afraid, because you feel the heat and the comfort of them, and the intimacy of sex with someone you love in itself can make you feel safe, so you kind of forget about everything else. And when you manage that, it feels like a massive step in terms of moving on. I hope this was helpful and i hope that we all get better soon xx

any advice?

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