My whole pregnancy was so hard. It was painful and heartbreaking and a lot of the time I felt so defeated. From passing my glucose tolerance test at 28 weeks to finding out I had gestational diabetes at 33 weeks, then finding out that I wouldn’t get the vaginal birth like I had wanted it was all hard to swallow but I tried my best. At 36 weeks and 4 days I had a consultation with a specialist because my baby was measuring 41 weeks and 10 lbs. The doctor told me that he thought it would be best to schedule a c section for 39 weeks because of the risks of shoulder dystocia. I went home and cried. I was miserable and huge and was having pre labor symptoms for the past three weeks and I was done. I had an appointment with my midwife that same day who checked my cervix progression and told me that I was 5 cm dilated, 85% effaced and at station 0. We talked about my options for vaginal delivery vs c section and the risks associated with both. And I went home and I cried. I cried because as much as I wanted to follow my birth plan, I knew that for my babies safety, I needed to schedule that c section. I cried because I wanted to have a natural birth and wanted to go into labor on my own and have all these experiences because this was going to be my last baby. So I had a good cry, my husband held me and let me know he supported whatever choice I made. And we laid down for bed. I relaxed and felt this feeling of confidence like no matter what was going to happen, everything would be ok. I fell asleep.

On May 23rd at 36 weeks and 5 days I turned over onto my side and heard and felt a pop in my lower abdomen. I woke up at 5:21 and laid still. I felt a small trickle of liquid roll down my legs and butt. I stood up and went to the bathroom and wiped. I smelt it and it was a kind of sweet smelling fluid. I laid back down wondering if it was my water. I got back up about 10 minutes later and went and wiped again, it was still wet down there but it was dryer than before. So I started questioning if it was my water or just vaginal discharge. I told my husband what was going on and I decided to call labor and delivery to see what they thought I should do. They suggested I come in and get checked. So I told my husband I was gonna go. I told him to stay home with our 3 year old because this wasn’t the first false alarm we had and I didn’t want to wake everyone up for nothing. So I packed up my hospital bags, got in the car and drove to the hospital. I got there at 6:40 and was hooked up to the machine to monitor baby. By this time I was having contractions but nothing too impressive since I’d been having pre labor contractions for the past 3 weeks. They tested the fluid to see if it was amniotic fluid and it came back positive. YAY!! I let the nurse know my situation and that a c section was being considered. She explained what would happen during the procedure which helped to calm my nerves a lot. I told my husband what was going on and he got himself and my son ready and they showed up about an hour later with my MIL. The nurse brought the on call physician in to talk to me again about having a vaginal birth vs. a c section birth but by this time I decided that I didn’t want to risk my baby’s safety so we decided on a c section. It was scheduled to start at 10:30 which gave us about 45 minutes to prepare ourselves. My MIL left with my son and my husband got in his scrubs. At 10:30 I was walked to the operating room to get my spinal. This took a while as they couldn’t find the right spot and I kept feeling pain in my left side. But my nurse was there the whole time as a support and the anesthesiologist was friendly and totally patient. After they finally got the spinal block in the right place, my legs got warm and tingly. It was one of the most bizarre feelings to not feel any pain but still feel pressure and tugging. And for being uncomfortable and in pain for the majority of my pregnancy this was the first time in a very long time that I didn’t feel any pain so I was feeling very happy and relaxed. They brought my husband in and, because of the estimated size of my baby being 10 lbs 3 oz. the surgeon said, hey let’s take a bet to see how big this kid will be. I bet 9 lbs 8 oz. the nurses were betting, the anesthesiologist put in his bet. It was great. They asked me what kind of music I’d like to listen to and I said 80s pop. So all the 80s classics were playing in the background. My husband held my hand the entire time and at 11:15 my son was born weighing in at 10lbs 8 oz and 22 inches long. He is healthy and happy and loves to sleep. And even though it wasn’t exactly how I’d planned it, it was still beautiful and one of the happiest moments of my life. And I don’t regret my decision one bit.