So my bf and i are 18 and 19 both seniors in high school we’re going to different colleges that are quiet far from each other and imtrying to spend as much time togather now that I can. So he hasn’t had a job in like 2 years he’s always broke and basically I was there for him through that before his own family was I’d buy him food caz His parent wouldn’t buy food for home I bought him the littlest shit like deodorant and body washes and shampoo. I managed to spend over 100 on his birthday. He’s never given me a gift on my birthday except the very first time he asked me to be his gf (it was my bday when he asked me) he gave me flowers 🤗 but our first Valentine’s Day he broke up with me the night before but got back with me like 5 days before his bday “Caz he missed me” I got with him and when his bday came I gave him gifts and all that we”re good for a while fast forward to this year he doesn’t break up but he gives me a teddy bear on vday which I appreciated it because i wasn’t expecting a gift from him then when he realized how many things i got him he’s like “ oh and i bought u a bunch of chocolate but I ate them” I’m okay with it like it’s okay it’s fine u gave me a teddy I’m happy with it. Comes his bday like i said before I spend over a 100 dollars on him but I love him so much that I never cared about spending my money him I did it happily... because his parent doesn’t celebrate his bday they’re a whole another story idw talk about but I tried to make it as special as possible because ik he deserves to be treated special on his special day... anyways when it comes to my bday he goes out of state with his parent and promises me he’ll be back the morning of my bday so I spend my bday alone Caz my fam wasn’t here and i wasnt feeling like doing anything because this was my 18 and I wanted to celebrate with him so I stay home all day and at like 3pm he’s like sorry babe we missed the flight we’l be back tmmrow so I’m like it’s okay whatever cAz ihad a feeling he was gonna pull something like that anyways at this point I don’t really care and im not upset he gets a whole bunch of things for himself and facetimes me i got this I got that and I’m happy for him Caz he doesnt really shop much due to money reason and he doesn’t get me anything not even like a dollar worth of something now I dont take it to heart but I do feel some type of way when everyone in school asked me wat he get u and i didn’t know wat to say. I know y’all might think she’s so selfish but I’m not i don’t even have a job and everything I get him or got him in the past was from my saved money that my parents would give to spend in school for food but I would save up like “ oh his birthday is coming up I should start saving now” etc etc he broke up with my a couple of weeks before our 1st year anni and on our second year he remembered but didn’t even wish me a happy 2 year every 10 minutes he’d be like babe can u believe we make 2 years I’m like yeah ikr. Ik I have told him that I’m not materialistic girl wat so ever but sometimes it really bothers me. Now he finally got a job and out of nowhere I’m getting ignored tf out of during his lunch break he goes to the gym and calls me just to tell me that once he gets off work he’s gonna go back to workout . Now I don’t have friends i stay away from drama as much as possible becauseI’ve never had drama free chill or laid back friends so now I don’t choose to be close to girls. I spend time with him because he’s also my best friend and now I stay home and do nothing I suffer from anxiety Nd depression and I’ve lost . interest in any thing I used to enjoy doing like playing tennis, reading books etc now I feel like once he starts to make money he’s gonna treat me like I’m nothing and i don’t exist. I’m so frustrated idk wat to do also I’m looking for a job myself but haven’t gotten any responses from any where. But yeah I’m sorry if this is long or confusing

Side story: before I met him he was this boy that looked like he was about to blow up anytime always quiet he was going through really tough phase of his life because of his family he was also a very cold person and didn’t care about anything. He gave up easily on everything. He was a very bad kid. Like he’d get into fights everyday he used to smoke talk to a lot of girls and all that hoe shit until I met him. He changed drastically his grades went up to 90s made it to the honor roll got straight 100s on his exams. He stoped smoking he got into less fights and was only focused on one girl which was me. His coaches teachers and his parent would come to me for everything regarding him because he wanted to be with me and didn’t do anything that would upset me or anything that caused problems between us.if there was a problem with someone in school or he got angry all a teacher had to do was call me and the moment he’d see me he’d have this big ass smile of his face he’d just calm down right away and say something like “ oh hey babe we weren’t doing anything....nothing was gonna happen ....and he’d just come and hug me. Idk wat it was about being with me but me being in his life and showing him love and care changed his life. His growth meant the world to me. Till this day I’m proud of him and and can proudly say I’m hisgf no matter of his past. He’s an amazing bf he’s caring but it’s just I don’t understand him or his motives sometimes like sometimes I feel like I’m dating two different ppl because of the way he does things.please help idk if wat I wrote makes any sense or not.