Ranting about In-Laws:give 5 week old what now?

Question

Soooo I’m annoyed that when ppl visit and want to “help” they start to dictate things. Like when they hold the baby and he’s not easily consolable that he must be hungry. Like no I fed him right before I gave him to you. “Just feed him for 2 min please.” Then will talk to the baby like “ yeah I know you’re starving right.” So then when he cries a little bit, “give him some water, it’ll help his digestive system” and I’m already at tip of my nerves. Anyone have ppl around them like this???

Answer

My MIL and GMIL are like that.  My GMIL was feeding my son when he was younger (like 3 or so months) and she was trying to burp him but he wasn't having it so he was screaming. I walked into the room like just put the bottle back in his mouth. She goes he didn't burp, I'm like so what it's worse for him to scream his head off. So she gives him the bottle and says to him "oh they're spoiling you." Uh no, he's getting more air in bc of him screaming which is counterproductive. 🙄 MIL insists since he's a toddler now that he can have things like chocolate milk, pudding, milkshakes and things like that whenever he wants.  (This started as soon as he was a year old.) Sorry but he can have a sampling here and there if my husband has something like that but he doesn't need chocolate milk everyday or a milkshake like you'd allow when my husband was his age. She'll tell me stories about how bad my husband was and I just sit here like uh, more like bad parenting.  Drives me insane.

Answer

My husband and his parents did that to me. I’d set her down after feeding and burping her if she got upset the conclusion was always “she’s hungry” I get so frustrated about it because they will try consoling her for 5 seconds and then give up and tell me I need to feed her... So we live pretty far from family (closest is 9 hour drive) they came to visit for a week and all they did was want to hold the baby. I get that... except for what I needed was help with laundry and dishes and picking up the house. My MIL helped some but I felt like I was constantly picking up everyone’s messes. They would cook and leave the kitchen a disaster and I was practically following them around cleaning up one mess after another. It was more stressful than useful to have them around. Plus she got used to being held 24/7 and when they left I couldn’t leave my baby’s side without her freaking out. I honestly have preferred the space to figure out parenting on my own. Rant over, this is why I love this app

Answer

I got into a HUGE fight with my mom over her comments. First she was saying we were spoiling the baby because we stayed up for two days straight holding him when he first came home. He had spent 3 days in the NICU and we didn’t mind. 
Then she started telling me how I should swaddle him. I told her I didn’t want to hear it and she left. Then she sent texts that how you learn is from people with 30 years of experience. She said I needed to be nicer and worry about her feelings. I said absolutely not.
I went off and then sent her this

Answer

Yes! My in laws think every noise that comes out of my daughter means she’s hungry and wont stop talking about how she ‘wants a bottle’... drives me nuts!!!! Try to keep your sanity momma, sending good vibes your way ❤️

Answer

We live 1300 miles from all family. I didnt have the luxury of making the complaints you raised. You could just take their messages with a grain of salt and know they mean well, which you know they do. Your hormones are a mess right now so i think its fine to ask them to do something else instead of telling you how to feed your baby. They could clean bathroom, do laundry, fold laundry, cook a meal, clean kitchen, bottles etc.

Ranting about In-Laws:give 5 week old what now?

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