No longer a sahm

I’m not looking for pity.

I’m not looking to be judged.

I just need an outlet for my current situation.

I have a beautiful 20 month old. Since 2015 I have had the blessing of being a housewife/stay at home mom. For the past 3 years I also had the privilege of being a homeschool teacher as well. The amount of students always fluctuated but I was always grateful. This year I heard back from my students that they will no longer need my services & It looks like I’m not going to have any students for the fall.

My husband & I talked it over & think it is best for me to find a job outside of our home. I’ve worked as a kindergarten school teacher & I’ve done numerous admin type jobs so I’m not worried about finding a job. I am worried about leaving my baby with a sitter. My in laws are able to watch her a couple times a week & my husband’s job is flexible where he can take one week day off. So that’s a huge relief... but I just can’t handle the fact that I won’t be able to be home with her. I don’t mind going in to work... I just can’t wrap my head around having to leave her everyday & being apart from her for most of the day. I don’t want to miss her milestones or her new discoveries.

Any mamas out there have advice for me & a word of encouragement? Thanks in advance!