To start, I’m a horrible person. I’ve hurt the ones I love the most, I lie constantly and hide things. I lie and hide to protect them from being hurt but that just hurts them more.

I don’t know why I lie or why I hide things. I think apart of me does it because I don’t want to have the disapproval of people. I want them happy but all I do is make them miserable.

I’ve self-harmed before. I just wanted the pain to go away. I had a relapse last year but before I was 10yrs clean. The thoughts are always there though..

I try so hard to be good and to not lie and hide things and no matter how hard I try, I burn everything. I’ve lost everyone.

My depression is overpowering me and I can’t control it anymore. I’ve been terrified of medication because I don’t want to be a zombie but I can’t handle the racing thoughts anymore. I just everything to stop. I need help but I don’t know who to turn to. I just pushed the last person I had away. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m drowning. I want to be a better person and I try but it’s too late I think..