Abusive relationship!

I am at a loose end & need help! I’ve been with my partner 2 years and he has been verbally and mentally abusive towards me from literally the first 3 months of our relationship, he has manipulated me in so many ways now that I see no escape from this! He threatens me constantly and has even been physical! But I feel I can’t be without him! He does whatever he wants and has an awful drug addiction to the point drugs is number one priority! I’ve been brought up in a good family, a Christian family and this is the complete opposite to what I’m used too! I can’t even say I love him, but someone I can’t be without him! He has worn me down that much I feel lost! If that makes sense? I just don’t know what to do? I can’t do this anymore, he makes me question my life and if this is all I’m worth! I was never an insecure person but now my anxiety levels are through the roof and I don’t even like leaving the house! I have to send him pictures if I’m out to prove I’m where I say i am etc.. Will I ever actually meet someone genuine! I lost a baby with my ex and he would bring that up and say horrible stuff saying I didn’t deserve the baby and we’ll he has 3 so there must be something wrong with me! (Not that I want a baby with him, he was the fact of saying it all hurt me) Aw I just don’t know what to do! Im sorry for rambling on I would be here all day! Please pray for me and pray I find the strength to once and for all walk away! 😭