Childhood friend’s destination wedding right after baby is born??

Question

I desperately need some advice here, mommas.
One of my dearest friends from high school is getting married across the country in about three months... which is about three weeks after my due date.
She asked me to be a bridesmaid in the wedding about when I found out I was pregnant. I’m a first time mom, so I thought I would be totally okay to leave the baby with my husband for a day or two while I attended the wedding. 
But as my due date gets closer, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea...
I want to breastfeed, and I’ve heard those first few weeks are crucial to getting breastfeeding established. I don’t want to introduce a bottle too soon and screw everything up! 
My husband and I also entertained the idea of being baby to the wedding, but our doctor said he’s worried a 16 hour car drive or all the germs at an airport could negatively affect our little guy.
Obviously, I have to put my son first, and I’m dreading doing this, but I think I have to tell my dear friend that I can’t make it. Does this make me an awful person? Any tips on how to break the news to her? I’m absolutely devastated and wish I could make it work, but I’m just not sure I can.

Answer

If it were me I would bring the baby with me, but my doctor would be/is totally fine with us traveling so soon (I am going to be flying from uk to Portugal when my second born is 2 weeks old, due August 14) especially if you are breast feeding your LO will basically have your immune system. But everyone is different so do what you feel comfortable with

Answer

Every doctor is different and if you trust yours, go with his/her advice. My personal experience is different though. I would NOT leave my baby for more than a couple hours, if that, at just a few weeks old. I would take baby with me because I do breastfeed. I wouldn’t take a baby only weeks old through an airport or in a plane because, yeah, too many people and germs. I have taken four of my six children on long road trips without any problems. As long as your car has a/c, baby should be fine. Stop for feeding, diaper and stretching breaks. He’ll be so young that he won’t know or care where he’s going. Babies just a couple months old travel very well in my experience. 
That being said, if you choose not to attend the wedding and put your child first, just tell your friend. If the two of you are close, she should understand and not be upset

Answer

I love love love my girlfriends and it would kill me to miss one of their weddings but in this case I personally wouldn't go!

Answer

I think nursing and/or pumping every 2 hours ( how often my boys ate) would be very challenging for someone standing up in a wedding.  But just going wouldn’t be as bad. I took my first to one at 10 days (in town) and my second to one at 7 weeks. We got his 2 month shots early before flying. It was my brother in laws wedding. Just be prepared to feel exhausted.

Answer

I would bring the baby. You can avoid germs if you try hard enough and a car ride won’t hurt the baby. Stop every couple hours and feed and change him. Go have fun!

Answer

I would go! Bring your hubby to help out with the baby. But like others have said, just attend and not be a bridesmaid. I know down the road you might regret it. I took my daughter on an 8 hour car ride when she was 3 weeks old and she did great! She actually slept most of the time and I had to wake her up to eat (breast feeding). Go have fun and celebrate your friend. :)

Answer

I’m in a similar situation, but not as intense. My best friend from high school is getting married exactly 2 months after my due date and I am going to be in her wedding. It is a much closer drive for us ( 2 and a half hours), but since I will also need to be there for the rehearsal dinner we are spending Friday and Saturday night there, as the wedding is on Sunday. My mother is going to be staying at an Airbnb with us right down the road from the hotel where they are having it so she can bring my son to me whenever I may need or have break during the day, and I may pump once if I need it. I may also leave the reception a little earlier. Would it be an option for you to have you husband there and bring him to you when you are able to? I also think you could manage in the car with regular stops as they primarily eat and sleep at this stage, but obviously that’s a personal decision.
If you decided that it’s all too much I feel like if she is a true friend she will understand, but I would suggest trying to give her as much advanced notice as possible, although I know you may not know until he’s here.

Answer

I would go to the wedding, not as a bridesmaid. 
Take a lot of breaks if driving there and back. 
I'd also suggest flying. Get a great baby carrier and take your time. Board last, get off first. It's actually relaxing, especially if you're breastfeeding. Get the window seat and nurse as often as you feel like it. 
We flew from NC to TX, non-stop.
(This picture I boarded first like a dummy, you just end up sitting longer lol)

Answer

I’m in the same boat. I’m the MOH in my best friends out of town wedding which happens to fall two weeks after my due date. So, with that being said, we’ve already discussed it. I’m going to play everything by ear. I’m purchasing my dress in July and if I can’t make it, I will return it. It also depends on when baby decides to make his appearance. If he comes early, it will be easier to attend but if he’s a week or so late, I probably won’t make it. I’m also worried about attending and being a complete stress ball. Being a MOH while trying to figure out how to breastfeed and everything else that comes with being a FTM. Ahhhh!! It’s been boggling my mind obviously so I feel your stress 100%. 
I feel bad but we are good enough friends that the bride understands that I (husband too) have to do what’s best for our new family so do whatever your gut is telling you.

Answer

I would just have a conversation with your friend letting her know your concerns. She should understand that this is also a huge transition time for you and your baby. And motherhood is going to be lots of sacrifice to do what’s best for your baby and you. Your friend will hopefully understand that you truly wish you could be there to celebrate her big day. Good luck and try not to stress too much about it. You’re going to be loving all the baby snuggles 3 weeks postpartum and probably not wanting to drive anywhere far!

Childhood friend’s destination wedding right after baby is born??

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