And I will never let it down

When I was in 8th grade and 14 years old I had just lost 3 people in my family. 3 deaths

I was going through major depression and I was acting out- not too bad. But please understand that I was not in the best state of mind. I was angry because the world kept going. I lost these people and life went on and nobody else seemed to be affected and I know it made no sense but whatever.

Well this girl in school had broken up with her boyfriend or whatever the fuck I don’t know. Well, he liked me and made it known that he liked me and tried to pursue me and it pissed her off. I was not new to being bullied. I had been pulled out of school 2 years ealier because of bullying.

At this point I was just a bitch and nobody wanted to bother me. I had no friends but I was left alone and that’s all I wanted.

This girl started to Harass me on social media calling me every name you can think off, I’d get texts from random numbers “you’re fucking disgusting” so now she had her friends doing it too. Added: I forgot to mention this. They took a picture of me in class and Posted it to Facebook and were making fun of me in the comments. People I didn’t even know were making fun of me. I didn’t do anything to these people. I did not like this boy, I didn’t even talk to him. It was just because he liked me that made me a target to these group of girls. I was at my locker one day right after school and these girls walked by me and spit on me and called me a whore.

So one night I stayed up crying. Didn’t sleep at all. I was in a depressive state and didn’t eat at lunch I just sat in the forum.

But I could see her staring at me and whispering and laughing with her friends at me. So I got up and walked up to the table and they started laughing and saying ew.

I was enraged and I walked up behind that girl and picked her up by her hair pulling it as hard as I could wanting to rip it out and slammed her face back onto the lunch table into her tray of food. The trays were hard plastic and it busted her lip. Then her friends were screaming and I was screaming at them and they said her dad was a cop but I didn’t care. She stood up and punched me in the throat so I pushed her down and stepped on her head. 🤦🏻‍♀️Then I put my hands around her throat and leaned down and said “youre going to leave me the fuck alone or this will be me and you everytime we see eachother”

And that’s when I got pulled up like a rag doll by our principal and got basically carried into the office. I was laughing and said something like “someone get that bitch some ice” like I was laughing/crying/shaking I bet I looked crazy. I somehow didn’t get suspended (🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️) but I got ISR for the rest of the year. I liked ISR. My school knew what was going on in my life and I had never been in trouble in school before so I think that’s why they went easy on me on top of the fact that it was the last few weeks of school and that I showed them the texts and messages of her harassing me. Her cop dad also came to talk to me but my principal wouldn’t let him because he said he was too mad and that I was Just a kid or something stupid like that. I have no idea what her punishment was.

I am so embarrassed about this. Literally never lived it down. It wasn’t a proud moment. That was a rage. They all left me alone though, literally never spoke to me or looked at me again like nothing ever happened. It’s just embarrassing that this happened in a lunch room filled with an audience and they all watched me lose my mind and see this raw anger like I was a crazy person. That was not me. That was a young, hurt, grieving and confused me.

Edit: If you’re wondering what my consequences were at home it was pretty much nothing but my mom saying she was disappointed in the way I handled it. That I should have told my principal and her to get them to stop. But if I did that, it would have made everything worse. They would have just bullied me more for being a so called tattle tale.