What to do for him to get rid of his mates!

Question

Right me and my boyfriend have been tryin to conceive for nearly 3 an a half years, but people he hangs round with smokes weed an does drugs an everything so its been hard! He’s always a right knob when he’s with them an I have to stay in coz of it an am sick of it! So don’t know what to do for him to get rid of them! They always chat shit behind my back an he lets them! He says he’s scared of them but I don’t believe it! Its my birthday on Monday an he’s suppose to be coming to mine Saturday and now he’s told me he’s not coming down.. They always get in the way! His parents are ill an he does nothing that helps them he just goes out with them an smokes!! He said he’ll stop but he hasn’t so don’t know what to do!

Answer

There’s nothing you can do to get him to stop hanging out with these people. If these are his friends, they’re his friends. However, if they’re disrespectful towards your relationship, your boyfriend should have the respect for you to stop associating with them. Either way, it really doesn’t sound like you guys are in the place to bring a child into the world, especially if you’re not even living together.

Answer

He isn’t going to leave his group of friends. He sounds like a jerk and it doesn’t sound like he values you. I noticed you also commented about basically almost living with him and his parents saying you could move in? If y’all don’t have your own place together it doesn’t sound like a good situation altogether. Not sure how old you are, but overall it doesn’t seem like y’all are prepared for a child anyway.

Answer

Sounds the problem here is him, not his friends. NEVER go into a relationship expecting someone to change for you

Answer

He sounds way too immature to be even thinking about having a baby let alone actively trying. You can't make him change. You should have a serious sit down conversation with him and tell him how you feel and if he is serious about the relationship and starting a family then there are things he has to change. If you go about it saying he can't see his friends at all, he probably won't be responsive to what you have to say, but if you set some boundaries, e.g. No more taking smoking weed when he's out with them, he might wise up and see them for what they are, but he has to learn himself. Listen to what he has to say too, maybe there are reasons he sees his friends so much rather than you, and you can both help make it better together?
 I do think it's highly unrealistic that he would cut out his friends, but if he doesn't listen to what you say and respect your opinion, he isn't right for you!

Answer

1. He puts his friends before you.                     2.  He puts his smoking and bad habits before you.                                                    3. He's unwilling to help out his own family members who need his help.            What makes you think he would help you at all with a child? What makes you think he is parent material?  What makes you think he will ever respect you?  This relationship shows no promise. If you are ever sick and need his help, he'll be out partying with his friends who will be laughing it up about your illness.  Is this the future you want for yourself?  You can't change him. The only thing you can control is you. So you might need to take control of your life and find an easier path to happiness without him.

Answer

My fiancé had friends just like this and never understood why I was upset about it. Don’t start an argument, but try talking to him when you finally have a minute alone with him. Tell him how you feel. It took my fiancé a little bit to see it but eventually gave it up so we could have a better future. If not then you may want to consider what you want for yourself. You cannot force him to change, but if he really cares he will try. And if you really want to try then you have to be patient as well.

What to do for him to get rid of his mates!

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