Good or bad?!

Lately I’ve been hating myself for things I do and say. I am a good person, I’ve been hurt because of it, almost allowing myself to be a doormat.

Since deciding to stop letting myself be walked all over, I feel as though I’m not nice anymore, and the almost thought that I’m not a good person or a good girlfriend hurts me.

I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 11 Months and I’m now with someone who treats me better than anyone ever has. We make eachother very happy and we make so many memories together, he’s sweet and caring and gorgeous. He’s passionate, determined, strong, and selfless. He has a complete heart of gold and I love him to pieces.

But I keep feeling like I’m a bad person because I start arguments unintentionally, because I’m trying to say something that we need to talk about, or if somethings bugging me. My boyfriend is not the argumentative type, he often gets annoyed that I go about it in a petty way. And this leaves me feeling like I shouldn’t have ever brought it up in the first place. We’re still learning to handle eachother, and work together in a fight and it is working, we’re more efficient as a couple and we talk about how we can solve issues. But it’s just the starting of those conversations are arguments, and I feel awful after.

I’ve always hated arguing and perhaps because I feel like starting it makes me undeserving of him, or that he’ll jump ship if I continue to be what I’m thinking is a “bad person”.

I know it’s natural to argue and healthy, when you have an objective at the end of it, but just any advice would be good? How to handle my feelings and stop being like this?