My husband and I recently opened a savings account for our daughter. It's a college/first car fund. My in-laws are aware of this account.

Today, we had a second birthday party for her with them. They gave her a few gifts. They were great, she loved them.

Then my husband's Grandma announces that she has $100 for Ella's college account. Great! That's super sweet. Unexpected.

Not. She then proceeds to inform us that our my SIL will be opening account in my daughter's name and hers(my SIL). This will be her "official" college fund account she says. She then goes on to say it's in case we die before Ella goes to college. "Since SIL will be the one to take your kids if you die" they said.

What...?

So not only are they attempting to open a seperate account for OUR daughter, they have made the decision of where our girl(s) will go if something were to happen to my husband & myself.

Yeah. No.

I didn't say anything at the time. I just sat there listening and stopped talking. I wanted to make sure I wasn't taking this the wrong way. I didn't see how I could, but I'm 30 weeks and hormonal. On the drive home, my husband went off about it. He was so damn pissed. So offended. They were acting like they get to make decisions in regards to our daughter. Acting like we were incapable of providing for them, opening their account, and untrustworthy of their college funds.

The only reason they act like we "can't handle money" is because we aren't rich. All of them are. Everyone. No one makes less than 150,000$ a year. All single incomes, except my SIL. Her and her fiance make nearly 500,000$ a year. My husband and I are a single income family. Taking home $32,000 a year.

They treat us like we're poor and "bad with money" because we can't drop $2000 to go on a vacation Every. Single. Month. We save our money, not spend it.

Anyways. I just felt like this entire situation was really weird and offensive. When my SIL has children will their other brother have an account with her children's name on it, that he's solely responsible for? And when that brother has kids, will my husband be in charge of his children's college fund? No. That's fucking weird.

I'm trying hard to appreciative of the thought. Knowing how these people treat me and have acted in the past, this was a gesture done out of pure control. Not kindness.

I just sent them a very kind message explaining how we feel. That we aren't comfortable with his sister opening an account for our daughter. That we're her parents, that's our job. She already has an account. We don't expect anyone to contribute to her account. However, if they would like to, they can simply make a check out to Ella to be placed in the account.

They also made a huge stink over the fact I told them not to get my daughter a cupcake/cake. Yet they did anyways. Then were pissed I wouldn't let her eat it. She already had cake on her birthday. She hasn't even gained 2 lbs since November. She's been having issues with table food. She only takes a bite or two and then throws it. Therefore, her pediatrician wants us to make sure what's she's eating is good. Proteins and such. If she eats cake, she won't eat real food. I told them this. I'm literally just following her pediatricians advice. Not being an asshole.

Are we wrong for being upset about the account issue?