Scared To Leave

Okay, so a little backstory. I’m 17 and my boyfriend is 19. We’ve been together for 2 years. He lives with me because his parents are strung out and needed a place to go. The first year and a half was good, but I feel like as soon as the second year was approaching it all went to shit. We argue all the time. I will admit I start some of them because I’m trying to defend myself. He always calls me a bitch when he’s mad and has choked, hit, pulled my hair, and thrown my head into a wall a couple times. The other night I sat him down and asked him if we could please take a break. I said I was tired of the name calling, him constantly wanting sex, and him always wanting to be high. He yelled and said I must be cheating on him to consider a break and was nothing but a whore. He went on to say he never wanted to be sober because he couldn’t stand me when he was. He went and grabbed his shotgun from behind the door and put it to his head and said he was gonna kill himself if I left him. I wrestled him for the gun and locked it in my truck. When I came back in our room he was sitting on the bed crying. He calmed down a little then reached into his dresser drawer and pulled out a bottle of PMs. He said “You’re not leaving me” and tried to take a whole bunch. I knocked some out of his hand and shoved my fingers down his throat to make him throw up.

I want to leave him but I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him, but I hate going through this. Please help