Am I overreacting? What would you do?
I want to know how other people would handle a person like this...
A year ago my husband and I tried helping an old friend of his get on his feet again by letting him rent a room in our house. We only charged him $300 a month. We had to set ground rules like:
No random girls
Buy your own groceries
Clean up after yourself
Maintain a job
Prior to living with us he was living out of his car so we tried to make it affordable while also letting him gain independence.
He came up with excuses for not being able to pay us because he had student loans and other debts that he needed to pay back because his credit was in the garbage (it quite literally was the lowest I’ve ever heard of). So even though I was annoyed we thought it was smart that he was paying off those debts and just kept a tally of what he owed us. My husband had sat down with him to help him budget things to see what he can afford so we adjusted it a little.
He wasn’t easy to live with- he didn’t keep anything clean and he ate all of our food to the point I had to hide my snacks in our bedroom drawers.
Well then we found out that he wasn’t paying those debts but instead using the money to buy cocaine. He lost his job. He was flat out lying to our faces every day so we kicked him out. He dodged us for months when we requested that he pay us back the money he owed us (he had also borrowed money for groceries several times).
Fast forward to now, he contacted us asking to live here again because he’s trying to get his life straight - we obviously said hell no. We had just recently found out he got a DWI and got caught stealing from Walmart. But he convinced my husband that he’s in therapy and that his therapist thinks he needs to hangout with good people, basically gave a sob story and guilted my husband into letting him come use my computer.
While he was over we made him a burger and let him hangout for a little while.
Well now today I notice that he ate all of my snacks I keep at my desk without asking. This is something we have been over with him several times in the past. He knows that it pisses me off.
I’m even more on edge lately because in March my father was in the hospital for weeks because of a heart attack, which led to the doctors finding out he’s in congestive heart failure, in April I miscarried our first pregnancy, and right now I’m 6 weeks pregnant again (praise God). Basically I’ve had a pretty shitty few months and some days honestly feel like I’m barely holding it together.
So I made my husband tell him that he’s not allowed over again because he can’t even do something as easy as asking if he can have my food.
Am I overreacting for wanting to just be completely done with him? He still owes us over $1,000 and at this point just not ever having to deal with him again sounds worth giving up never getting that money back.
The guy is 28 years old and comes from a very well respected family so his upbringing isn’t to blame here.