Jealous

So today my younger sister told me she was pregnant again. And I was at a loss of words. I’m happy for them, I love my niece and I know that I will love this baby just as much. But my fiancé and I have been trying for so long now. This past month I was 17 days late I didn’t test because of my PCOS and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I just don’t understand why I’m so jealous of her. I should be jumping for joy and going to buy stuff for the baby. But I’m not I’m honestly so depressed. I guess this is more of a vent post just to kinda get it off my chest. I feel like I sound like such a B word 🙈 sorry didn’t want to cuss in this

UPDATE** my sister is in the hospital now with a possible miscarriage and I feel like an even bigger asshole then I did Monday 😩