Feeling Alone lately

Lil back story. I married my SO when I was 18, had a kid at 19, and 2 kids after that. We have been going through ups and downs for years til one day I couldnt take it for being an ass at everything...and I divorced him yet Ive always loved him. After the divorce til now (2.5yrs) we were back and forth because there is still something there. Reason its always back and forth is because he doesnt carry his load or he just isn’t affectionate with me anymore.

So now...

This January we talked and talked and it was the first time he opened up to me and decided to get back together. Well everything was good. We have hit some lows, every relationship does. But now I feel like Im putting so much effort in this relationship than he does. I treat him like a king and I dont get any affection. It’ll be a miracle if I do. Ive been at my patient’s house since Thursday until tomorrow and has he cared to fucking text me to see how I doing? I text him to see how he is and how the kiddos are doing but I dont get anything in return! Why? Wtf did I fucking do for you to treat me this way?! Im so fed up with this. And Through all of this I still love him. Ive gone through sooo much with this guy that you couldnt even imagine and you would think that this man could see that I am a keeper. That someone like me has stuck to him through thick and thin and appreciate what an amazing woman I am...but nooooo! He thinks that I need him. Fuck no! I dont. I have everything I need and want. But I want him and this man can open his pretty brown eyes that he is lucky! Ugh!!!

Oh well. Idk what to do but I needed to vent. I dont want any rude comments. People go through shit and I need support rather than being criticized. Thanks.