Red flag or is he right?!

When my SO & I get in an argument, he tells me I’m nothing, a bitch, lazy, my family isn’t shit, an idiot, etc. He says I shouldn’t be worried about the words said, but the meaning behind them. I’m nothing bc my “mindset” isn’t where he thinks it should be. Lazy bc the house isn’t clean the way he wants it to be. He doesn’t want me to turn out like my family.. I could write a book. But do you think this is true or a huge red flag?!