I haven’t shared my story and it has now been a year since it happened so I want to tell my story now. So here it goes,

At 17 I was a senior in high school and I was on top of the world! I was applying to colleges, planning the senior prom, and representing my school as their student body president. Life was good. Then this one burn out kept messaging and one day after him messaging for months on end I gave in and hung out with him. I later realized he wasn’t as bad as I thought so we started dating. We dated for 6 months and we had slept together once or twice. But on this June afternoon it was different, I went over to his house on the hot summer day in a maxi skirt and t-shirt. We were watching tv talking about my graduation that was coming up. He put his hand on my thigh under my skirt and then started moving it up. I kept pushing him off and telling him I didn’t want to do that. The next thing I know he’s on top of me and his pants are down and my skirt is up. His hands are pinning my wrists down, I try to move them but I can’t. My legs are going numb I try to pull them into my chest but I can’t. I tried to end it but I just froze and stared at the ceiling. After he was done I just sat there shaking unable to move unable to think. My life had flashed between my eyes, my ‘good girl’ image I had in my head of myself was gone. After sitting there for what felt like forever he looked at me and said “that was fun, but don’t you have class” I quickly nodded got in my car and drove as fast as I could away. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, I told myself there is no way that it could be that bad r word, could it? We were dating and had previously had consensual sex. He was my boyfriend no way he raped me. I then tried my hardest to forget about it. Then later that week he was arrested for doing the same thing to another girl. I broke down and told my mom all about him getting arrested and after attending 4 months of counselling, I finally acknowledged what had happened to me, He was my boyfriend and he raped me, I was finally able to experience a little bit of joy and happiness again. Now being 18 and in college I have carried this secret with me. I recently went home and saw him and was reminded of that dark place that I was in a year ago. I saw how much I have moved on. But on this past weekend it marked the one year anniversary of my rape.

So that’s it..that’s my story