No sex

I’ve been in a relationship nearly 12 years and for the first 6 months sex was great then it stopped since then I can count on my hands how many times we have made love basically we have 3 children and timing was perfect and got pregnant first try all times only time we have had sex

# have tried everything to the point I can’t handle the rejection I’m only in my mid 30s so I feel I have missed out a lot in getting to know my body . I am not a big person my looks are fine . We have tried counselling everything he has been unfaithful in the past I think that part is over he can get depressed at times and when he does he used to drink and call girls was his thing . I have stayed through thick and thin I really do love him but hate him at the same time sometimes . He says he loves me more than I will ever know but i say how can you when you hurt me so much