Is a hoe phase a bad idea?

Question

I’m in a very deep hatred for myself due to a bad relationship. My friend said however to take this as a blessing and start going on random dates and if sex happens it happens. To just take it Day by day and get free food ( this part made my night.) she said it will help me find what I want in a man and I will find out what I like sexually 
However I am scared to have Sex with people , I mean I’ve done it before but I don’t know...it’s just the what if’s, I don’t want to go on dates because I’m shy as hell. I really want to find someone who actually cares about me and I’m halfway tempted to Listen to my friend about the “ hoe phase.” She’s now married with two kids and I’m sorta jealous. Is that a bad thing? I feel awful for being jealous. But I’m tired of being the single and lonely cat aunt.

Answer

The first line of your post says it all.. I feel like you need to take time to work on yourself before you do something you'll later regret. Also hoe phases aren't for everyone.

Answer

I'm sex positive, and I love casual sex as much as the next guy, but trust me, an active sex life doesn't replace self worth

Answer

Y’all are all so sweet, I think I will take a bit for myself and go on a few dates but no sex. I lost my virginity to the man I was with before and I think that’s making it harder to move on from that relationship.

Thank you for all the help 💕

Answer

I’m gonna say no only because of the first line of your post- that you don’t like yourself right now.  You should work on that first. Get to feeling more confident and sexy. If you feel bad about yourself then sleeping around a little could only make things worse.  But I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea to date around a little and have casual sex if it feels right, but you need to be in the right mindset first.

Answer

I think you will hate yourself more if you go out shagging loads of different people ain’t gonna make you feel better that’s for sure

Answer

not everyone has a hoe phase and it doesnt sound like its for you, at least at this point of your life. you dont have to sleep around with guys and it sounds like it wouldnt be very beneficial to you to do it. you need to work on yourself and work on loving yourself and finding ways to improve and appreciate your life. youre just going to add more mess in your life going down the path your friend is encouraging you on. then when youre ready, you can go out and date and date in the way that youre comfortable with. it sounds like youre looking for a stable long term relationship, not casual flings.

Answer

I also went through a hoe phase and thought I was into the whole casual sex until I started wishing every guy would want to date me or get to know me more after... the one line in your post about finding someone who cares about you. These random hookups aren’t going to do that for you... they just want sex. If that’s what you want, then okay, it does feel amazing but if you want that deeper connection and trying to still find the one... these guys will throw you right out and that’s when I felt even lower than I did after the breakup. I had one really bad one night stand then, I drank too much and blacked out... needless to say it all turned out okay in the end (no stds or anything). I swore after that experience that I would take care of myself like the others are saying, not have one night stands because it wasn’t for me. Found hobbies and interests I loved doing, found new friends and then on Halloween night met my now husband... we didnt do anything for 6 months basically... he really cared and wanted to get to know me. 
I’m not saying casual sex isn’t for you but think about what you want to get from it. What is your mindset toing into it? Why? If it’s just to forget, find someone who cares, be loved, fill the time... then i would say it may not be for you :-/

Answer

You shouldn’t be doing it as a way to make yourself feel better. If you have a hatred for yourself, itsnot gonna make that go away

Answer

Lol the the GIF! You don’t need to have a hoe phase lol but it did help me after a major heart break. I was a little younger and very drunk lol can’t imagine ever being like that again. Got a bad reputation for just one summer 👎  if you don’t want to, don’t do it. cant say it helps with everyone lol

Answer

UPDATE: I went on my First date with my semi-boyfriend on Monday night...
Sometimes waiting is worth it. Still no hoe phase In sight.

Is a hoe phase a bad idea?

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