Am I weird?

From the ages 6-9 I was sexually and physically abused by my uncle. My mom and grandparents never believed me, they were always just like “he’s showing you love!”

Now I have a boyfriend ? I’m not sure what we are. We never have done anything, besides hugging because I set boundaries. We both got drunk, well he got drunk and I got tipsy. He started stroking my face and my lips, trying to kiss me. I told him no, and he apologized for trying and told me that he’ll wait til I’m ready. I feel really guilty and like I should just let go of what happened, and I try, but when I get intimite it always comes back to me and I have a panic attack.

Anyone else?