My journey began a year ago when I got married fell pregnant and was forced to come to the UK to have my child. During those nine months and more, I endured many different kinds of struggles, hardships and agonies. But little did I know it was all preparing me for what was coming ahead. it was making me strong it was making me fight it was making me resilient.

I basically lived away from my husband and endured a newly married life and newly pregnant life all on my own. I lived with my family for a bit and lived with his mother towards the end of my pregnancy. He worked in another country, was constantly abusive antagonizing and our relationship was extremely volatile. I really was living with blinkers on, not realizing what was actually happening around me and to me. I was being pushed into a corner to endure a life I was hating constant unhappiness and feeling miserable all the time. He was doing nothing to make anything easier for me and constantly purposely made me suffer but I still gave him more and more chances to redeem himself.

After my son was born in August, he was still very irresponsible immature and had no concern for me all the baby. fatherhood has done nothing to him. All I longed for was to go back to my home to see my family, for everyone to meet my baby and to bask in this new chapter with our new family member. FYI I am from south Africa. Despite my many cries and pleas to him, he ridiculed and mocked me and had absolutely no consideration for how I felt what I had enjoyed during my time alone and with his family. I also realized he and his mother were scheming behind my back and had been gossiping about me all along. The abuse continued and now it was also his parents being abusive and him allowing it. He wouldn't want me to breast-feed my baby and was insisting on bottlefeeding and he wanted my son to get used to his mother.

Eventually when my son was one month old I couldn't take it anymore and had to flee with the police in the middle of the night. That day they had taken my newborn baby away from me for 4hrs and refused to let me breast-feed. He was basically keeping me a prisoner in that house and in this country and wouldn't even allow me to take my son out anywhere with me. I was so desperate to get out as I have no family no friends to turn to in the UK. He knew how vulnerable and alone I was.

Once we left with the police the next day I went to the court to get a court order to leave the country with my baby on the advice of my embassy in London. My husband did the same thing minutes after me but he asked for full custody and accused me of child of abduction.

Since then it has been nine months to the day. I have been abused, discriminated and prejudiced by the system, by the judges. Judges told me to leave my newborn baby and go home, they told me to not be emotional and not cry in front of my baby to affect him in anyway.

When my father had a heart attack they told me to leave my baby and go because the baby has no connection to this grandfather so he doesn't need to go with me. They mocked my father in his hospital bed they mocked his pictures. I have no support I have no recourse to public funds and he doesn't support us in anyway. I have nothing here I don't even have my belongings and all my clothes and personal things as I left the house with nothing and they have refused to give me all my stuff. The judge told me to sell my wedding rings to sustain myself. I had to live off donations, Goodwill, charity and have my family support me with what ever they can.

The judges ordered overnight stays for my two month old breast-fed baby with no consideration for me or my health. my son has been going for 22 hour stay overs with his father who has absolutely no parental skills, has a criminal record which I only found out about during these proceedings. Him and his sister in laws constantly abused and bullied me at handovers. they would miss handle my child in front of me and I could do nothing about it. everything I tried with my Solicitor went against me.

We have been waiting 4 months for our judgment and final order. the judge has been playing a cat and mouse game with us and has been dodging the solicitors. He has made numerous promises of times and dates and has never kept to any of them. I am still having to fend for myself I am alone in this country with just my baby. I have endured extremely soul wrenching times by myself, my grandmother passed away, I spent my 30th birthday alone, I missed special occasions, religious celebrations.

My post is not to get sympathy or to play the victim. I am very much past that point in the situation. I no longer feel like the victim. My story is to help other women and other mothers that Are in my situation.

My journey has taught me that the only way to really free yourself from everything that is there to break you down, is to accept what you cannot change, make peace with what is and to forgive.

The only thing that is holding you back from moving on into your brighter future is holding onto the anger, the pain and the struggle. Let it go!! it is the only way you will be able to progress and move forward.

Every experience we go through in life, our soul is teaching us something and it is really up to us to learn the lesson so that it would never reoccur again in our lives. When things don't go our way it is a reminder that we need to keep sturdy and hold our inner peace. The only thing you can control is your emotions because if you don't every situation will get the better of you. You can't control how other people behave but you can really control how you respond.

I have forgiven my husband and his family for all they have done to me and my family, for treating me like a surrogate, for stealing my belongings, for poisoning my child's mind against me and all the abuse. At the end of the day the only thing I need to worry about is what is my child going to think when he's old and he hears all of this and will I make him proud.

All I wanted to do was go home for a holiday to see my family and it has turned into this bitter and horrific nightmare of a battle.

I have accepted that this is fate, this is what was meant to happen and I had no control over it. I have taken responsibility for my part, I have forgiven myself and I know that I have been the best mother and am trying my best to stay afloat. I've also had a life mentor that has been coaching me throughout this experience and help to keep me aligned to positive energies. I have learnt so much knowledge and wisdom and I want to share it with others. I believe that is the reason I had to go through this, to help others.

I hope my story is an inspiration to you, the reader of this post. Never give up no matter what your struggle is, no matter how bad your day is, no matter how harsh life gets for you... no storm lasts forever. And some storms come to clear your path. This experience has given my life meaning and clarity. Find the lesson in every experience and life will become an easier ride for you.