“just a game”

it started when i was 7, i never really understood what really happened back then until i was 10 or 11. i realized he was taking advantage of me. it wasnt a game. it wasnt okay. he would come in my room at night and “play” with me. he never actually did the worst. until i was 12. he took my virginity. if i pulled away or pushed him away, he would physically hurt me. threatening me, telling me itd only get worst if i spoke to anyone about it. i remember staying in bed for days after this happened. i started to feel very sad and depressed with in time, i started to cut. i eventually told my mom what was happening. and she told me just to talk it out and everything will be fine. in the beginning of freshman year, i found out i was pregnant, it was his. i felt so much hatred i was always mad always sad and gloomy. i then had a miscarriage and it caused me so much pain but i felt relieved that i wouldnt have a child with him. until i saw him again. my mom never kicked him out. i hate him so much and im stuck living with him. seeing his face every morning. im about to be a sophmore in hs, and i think im pregnant again with his child. im scared in my own home, this isnt even a home to me anymore.

some people say rape is just sex, but rape IS NOT sex. when someone forces you to do something like this its the worst feeling ever. and people will never understand the pain and suffering we go through unless theyve been through it too. they think that this is something that you just get over.

some people also say that rape is on the girls or guys. as in the girls (or guy) is at fault for what happens. that they ask for it. but tell me, how can a 7 year old ask for sex when they dont even know what sex is. they dont dress like sluts either because what mother allows their kids to dress like sluts at 7 or even 12.

if this is happening to you.. you should speak up. dont let this happen to you. dont let it get as bad at it did to me. fight back and never give up until its done. if your mom is like mine. blind in love with the guy then go move in with another family member or close friend. SPEAK UP !