Is this emotional abuse or is it me?

I’ve just come out of a two year relationship with a boy who is determined that everything is my fault. Through the last two years he has broken up with me at least once a month telling me that I have ruined everything. He’s doing a PhD and I work as a technician at the same university. If I even so much talk to any of my friends who are guys he shouts at me and threatens to leave me before turning it around that I am treating him terribly. He regularly tells me that I am terrible at my job, that I’ll never be fit to be a mother (I had anorexia when I was younger) and that I don’t care about him at all. Everything will be fine and suddenly he’ll switch and every problem he has will be my fault. He’s got ocd so I know he finds life hard so am I not supporting him enough? I’ve tried everything I can think of to make him feel secure, I even made him a scrap book of reasons why I loved him for him to look at on a bad day. I’ll answer the phone no matter what time of day and try and always be there but he keeps telling me I don’t make him feel loved, I don’t support him and I’m not a good no ugh girlfriend. Every argument we have he’ll bring up something I might have said a year ago and throw it back in my face. My ex cheated on me and he likes to tell me he understands why he did because I bring it on myself. We have circular arguments where he alternates between telling me he loves me and that I’m such a horrible person. He threatens to go to my boss and tell him I’m unfit to do my job. Every time I try to leave he tells me that I should kill myself, but I’m not even capable of doing that properly. He tells all our friends that I’m not sane and tells them about my history of self harm etc, even though that didn’t start again until I was with him. And after all of this I still love him and desperately want to be with him. I promise to do better but it’s never good enough. I haven’t told any of my friends or family because I don’t want them to think badly of him and I guess I feel like I deserve it. I don’t know what is wrong with me that makes me not good enough. I’m not on here for sympathy or attention, I just want to know if it’s my fault?

UPDATE

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply it means a lot. I have taken all your advice and blocked him to make sure I don’t give him the chance to talk me round again. Thank you for your support.