I’ll try to make this short but I’m really needing some positive vibes and comments. I never wanted to be “one of those girls” that goes back to an abuser but it looks like I am. I need to stay strong this time as I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and am almost 9 weeks pregnant.

So my baby’s father has always been moody and had anger issue but for some reason I thought I could fix him so after it all I would always stick it it and be by his side . We’ve broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count and when my daughter was a couple months old we got into an argument in which he pushed me and spit in my face. The cops were called and they took him to jail for a day. He still on probation for it but he Completed his domestic violence classes. I never really thought about it but he’s always been verbally abusive to me. The more that I look at the signs for an abusive relationship the more I realize that it actually describes the relationship that I was in with him. He always put me down and called me names and when I said something I was just stupid. But I thought I could still change him so for three years I kept holding on. Even took him back after the first time he touched me.

Last night he went from 0 to 100 real quick. I came into the room with her daughter and he was asleep on the bed and I will come up to ask him if he could remove his muddy boots and his muddy pants because he was getting the bed dirty. He stated he would get to it when he got to it. He then only there for a couple more minutes and then got up and told me that he would not be here in the morning when I woke up. I knew it was just going to escalate if I said anything else so I just laid in bed with our daughter well I heard him pack his things and trash bags. I had locked our bedroom door just to add a little extra space so nothing got any worse and next thing I know he’s unscrewing the door handle and coming in. He tried to take the TV that’s in our room for our daughter and I got in front of him and asked him to not take it because she watches it every night. He said the TV down and continue to scream in my face and when I yelled back at him he grabbed me by my ears and shoved my head back into the door. I then pushed him away from me and you grab me by my shoulders and slammed me into the door a couple of more times. He then walked just a little bit away for me so I yelled at him he should put his hands on me because I am the mother of his child and I am pregnant then he spit in my face while calling me a fat stupid cu*nt . With where I work I did not want to get the cops involved so I called my mom and stepfather to come over to help me calm down the situation. He left when I was on the phone with them and has since then been texting me and calling me telling me how much she loves me and how sorry he is and how he’s not a man and he wishes he could do everything right by me and our daughter.

But I just don’t know what to do anymore… It just keeps escalating. I shouldn’t have bruises on my body from somebody that I love. Somebody that is supposed to protect me. All of this happened in front of our daughter and I don’t want her to think that relationships are like this and that any man should treat her like this. It’s just hard to do this by myself. Very strong independent woman but we have two kids together now and I just don’t know how to keep pushing him away....

Any advice on how to be strong would be very helpful right now. Please no rude comments