Self doubt

I have been having a lot of self doubt lately.. I just found out a few weeks ago I’m pregnant and today I am 7 weeks pregnant. I had my first preliminary appointment today.

They told me my BMI was 31.96.

I have been always conscious of my weight and I don’t feel like my image reflects the numbers. I was 198 lbs about a year ago.. I dropped to 162 November 2017, and now I’m back up at 186... (I’m 5’4”)

I cry every time I think of it. I work out multiple times a week, I eat a very healthy diet. I make sure I get all the vitamins and nutrients I need. It’s coming up on a year that I’ve been vegetarian and transitioned within the last few months into full on Vegan diet. I am getting about 1300-1800 calories a day and I eat mostly greens and fruits, with the occasional pasta (not often).

This isn’t a temporary thing either not some “fad diet” I plan to keep on this lifestyle from here on out but I don’t understand WHY I am the weight I am.. my confidence is always low because of it. It’s putting me into a huge state of depression and I can’t put myself through this while being pregnant. It will only get worse with time knowing I will gain weight during pregnancy.

Any ladies have advice for me?