Hey mammas!! I’m a bit of a mess as I write this so sorry this is so long and all over the place.

I started back to college 2 in May after giving birth to my daughter in January. I was diagnosed with a few learning disabilities as a kid and have been on ADHD medication for most of academic career. I was able to go off of all of them (except an antidepressant) and still handle school while I was pregnant. I was hoping I would be able to do the same coming back to school so I could still be able to breastfeed my baby, but the past 2 months have been nearly impossible. I commute 1.5 hrs to school which doesn’t help. My boyfriend and family are both incredibly supportive, but even with their help and all my coping skills I’m struggling to balance everything- errands, school work, baby, etc.

Now I know, I had a kid young, I knew it wouldn’t be easy going into it, and I’m certainly not complaining. I asked for this chaos, I can handle it, but I cannot have my school work skipping through the cracks. Right now it’s my biggest priority after my little family. It’s imperative I graduate & with honors so I can still go into the field I want to.

So yesterday I went to the dr to see if there was anyway to take a low dose of ADHD medication. She spent all of last night researching and talking to other drs. This morning she told me she doesn’t think any medication will be safe, even if I pump and dump because the half life is so long on all the medications. She’s very understanding of my situation and said that formula would be fine, that it wouldn’t do any damage to my daughter.

I really didn’t want to stop breastfeeding this soon. If I’m being honest I kinda felt like it was the one thing I could do well for my daughter, even tho I have to leave her to go to school and work, and even tho I had her way before I wanted to, I could still give her my milk. Idk it’s sounds really stupid I know. I know I don’t have to breastfeed to be a good mom, but I still feel awful. Like I’m choosing myself over her. I know in the long run me doing well in school is what’s best for her too, but I still feel like I’m letting her down.

Has anyone else been in this situation or know of a way I could continue breastfeeding?